WEDNESDAY WONDERS
TARIFF-FREE, WAR-FREE, STEROID-FREE
THE WBC BEGINS
I have mixed emotions about my rooting interests in the WBC. I don’t know whether to root for Japan or the Dominican Republic. I will root for Nicaragua to have a good couple of games. I root for Australia because my best friend, comedian Peter Meisel, lives there. They also have the Guardians' top prospect, Travis Bazzana, the No. 1 overall pick from the 2024 draft. I will root for Czechia because they primarily have semi-pros on their team, with the best known player being former Orioles infielder Terrin Vavra. I’m concerned that if Venezuela wins, we’ll see Trump and Maduro celebrating.
I can’t root for the US team to win it all. I got to know their manager, Mark DeRosa, when I worked at the MLB Network. It wasn’t his fault that I had the worst boss I have ever had when I worked there. Mark is a good guy, and when his kids get a little older, I hope he will get an MLB managerial gig. But I don’t want a repeat of the disgrace that became the US Men’s Olympic Hockey team. I don’t want their success co-opted by the lying, pedophile, racist, misogynist, felon who is now also a war criminal.
We don’t need to win it all. It won’t matter to the people of this country if the US team wins as much as it would matter to the people of Japan or the Dominican Republic. We have enough success and wealth in this country that we don’t value these victories as other smaller nations would. Can you remember three players from the U.S. Women’s team? How about the men’s team? What’s the name of the U.S. figure skater who took gold? That would be Alysa Liu. Do you know who Breezy Johnson is? She was the women’s downhill gold medalist in alpine skiing. Who is Jordan Stolz? He was the gold medalist in speedskating. I can assure you that the people of Norway know who Johannes Høsflot Klæbo is (he’s their cross-country skier who led the team with 6 golds).
So, put your jingoism aside. Root for the players from your home teams that you like. Root for an underdog. Root for no injuries and enjoy the fun and excitement of the WBC.
JUMP INTO THE POOLS
Pool A: Canada, Colombia, Cuba, Panama, Puerto Rico
Pool B: Brazil, Great Britain, Italy, Mexico, United States
Pool C: Australia, Chinese Taipei, Czechia, Japan, Korea
Pool D: Dominican Republic, Israel, Netherlands, Nicaragua, Venezuela
JURICKSON PROFAR TESTS POSITIVE
Braves outfielder Jurickson Profar has been suspended for 162 games after testing positive for exogenous testosterone, a performance-enhancing substance. It will cost him the entire 2026 season, including the playoffs. Do you know why? It’s because it’s the second career PED suspension for Profar, who missed 80 games last year after testing positive for Chorionic Gonadotropin. He would also test positive for being an idiot.
Profar won’t be paid his $15MM salary, and according to MLB Trade Rumors, the Braves would also be spared another $3MM in luxury taxes as a result. This could enable Atlanta to perhaps add a starting pitcher to refill its rotation that has already been depleted by injuries.
The 12-year veteran was scheduled to play for Team Netherlands in the WBC, but he will now be ineligible for the tournament. He is eligible for Team Stupid.
“It's not something that we would choose, but that's where we're at.” Braves skipper Walt Weiss on the Jurickson Profar PED suspension.
JOHAN ROJAS CAUGHT AS WELL
Phillies center fielder Johan Rojas faces an 80-game suspension for failing a PED test of his own. The positive test, sources said, came during the offseason. Adiós, muchachos, no soup for you.
THERE ARE A LOT OF MLB TEAMS TO ROOT FOR
The Texas Rangers are not one of them. The Rangers announced that a permanent statue would be added to the left-field concourse at Globe Life Field. The “One Riot, One Ranger” statue, a 12-foot waste of bronze, stood at Love Field for nearly six decades. This statue was modeled on the 1950s Texas Ranger, Captain Jay Banks. As reported in Craig Calcaterra’s newsletter, in 1956, as desegration became the law of the land, Captain Banks, along with other state police, was sent to Mansfield, Texas, not to escort black students past howling mobs of white supremacists, but to keep the black children out of a white school where, above the school’s entrance, was a dummy in blackface, hanging from a noose. Banks saw no need to remove the effigy or disperse the mob. Banks and his crew were then sent to Texarkana Junior College to stop that school from integrating. He stood idly by as two Black students were surrounded and kicked by a mob, and then he threatened the two with arrest.
The Texas Rangers are the only team that doesn’t hold a Pride Night.
BROADCAST NEWS
Here is some good news to share. Finally.
